News & Politics

John Mayer Playboy Gibberish a Big Deal for Some Reason


“This Celine Dion interview on Oprah is making me GAG like I have John Mayer’s David Duke in my mouth!” tweets bevysmith. She refers to John Mayer’s Playboy interview, in which he says a bunch of weird shit, like “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist.” He does aver that “I’m going to start dating separately from my dick,” which would be some trick, and then starts rhapsodizing about black girls and how “Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, ‘Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.’ ”

As this is suggestive of a reverse-Mandingo fantasy, reactions range from belligerent (“My advice: watch the scotch, review what you think about people, and date black women”) or defensive (“I read the article and I’m more disappointed in our own people’s reactions than Mayer’s words”). Perez Hilton reminisces about the time Mayer told him he’d had a penis in his mouth (“Then you’re gay!”).

This is all good for a laugh and a hit or two thousand (Mayer is now a trending Twitter topic) but we always imagined Mayer was kind of a typical rockstar dope who free-associated his days away until some industry factota showed up to dice his ravings into product. (And God bless him. We really like that song he does. What’s it called again?) People pay attention to what Bono has to say about international policy because he actually does something about it and his actions have an impact on the world at large. Mayer repeating his love-talk with Jesssica Simpson (“I want to quit my life and just fucking snort you”) mainly affects Jessica Simpson and teenage masturbatory fantasies until the next Megan Fox movie comes out.

Like the Playboy guy says, “John Mayer talks the way he plays guitar solos — the words tumble out fast, like notes…” And meanwhile Mayer is thinking about something else, like a cheeseburger, or a snowy mountain, or pussy. Getting outraged about it makes about as much sense as parsing the ramblings of a nut on the subway.

Update: Rob Harvilla has more and better.

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