The nakedly turbulent narrative structure of VH1’s Behind The Music was invented for Courtney Love. In fact, everything with her is behind the music. So when the hippie spawn who once fronted Faith No More (true story) and auditioned for the Mickey Mouse Club by reading Sylvia Plath (a piece about incest, no less) finally gets her own episode, it’s a walloping two hours long. As someone who’s spent an alarming amount of time analyzing this woman, I’m both inexplicably knowledgable and somewhat bored when it comes to this person. Yet. Could not. Stop watching.
1. Courtney’s father was an amateur acid-maker and, briefly, managed the Grateful Dead. (Five-year-old Courtney Michelle Rodriguez is pictured on the back of the 1969 Grateful Dead LP Aoxomoxoa.)
2. When Courtney’s biological parents split, her mom alleged via custody battle that her father had fed young Courtney acid.
3. When Courtney’s mom remarried, she made her family hit each other with batons, as a means of therapy, “to get the anger out.”
4. One of the exotic-dancer clubs where Courtney stripped was called “Jumbo’s Clown Room.”
5. Former Hole guitarist Eric Erlandson bought Courtney Love her first nose job. (She actually brought a photo of former Hole bassist Jill Emery to the doctor and creepily asked for her bandmate’s nose, according to Emery.)
6. One of the big reasons Courtney Love went after Kurt Cobain? His nose. “The two guys in rock with the best noses were Axl Rose and Kurt Cobain–and I certainly wasn’t going to mate with Axl Rose,” she says. “I was all about mating for a nose.”
7. Courtney Love credits that infamous Lynn Hirschberg Vanity Fair profile for being one of the many contributing factors to Kurt Cobain’s suicide. (“A lot of things killed him, but that killed him too.”)
8. Courtney Love claims that her longstanding rift with Trent Reznor dates back to after they had “a torrid whatever you want to call it.” When he denied they’d slept together, she told Spin, “Don’t call your band Nine Inch Nails if you have a three-inch one.”
9. The reason Courtney Love theorizes that Frances Bean was born early: “She wanted to get the fuck out of there. She wanted to get out, because it was stressful.”
10. When Kurt would nod off in a heroin stupor, one of the ways Courtney would try to wake him up was by sticking pins in his balls.
And there is so, so, so much more. [VH1]