NYT Finds Pretty Much All New Yorkers Like New York, Unless You Live in The Bronx, Queens, or Brooklyn


Just in time to counterbalance the Onion’s recent post, “8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live”, the New York Times has released their own version: “Surprise: Most New Yorkers Say They Like the City.”

The article finds that 84% of those polled were either “satisfied” or “very satisfied” with living in the city, while only 4% were “dissatisfied,” yet it also mentions the following:

“The survey did find some unhappiness among the 1,005 adults who were questioned (they were chosen at random and interviewed by telephone between Sept. 29 and Oct. 6). Almost 40 percent of Bronx residents surveyed, and almost a quarter of those from Queens and Brooklyn, said they would move out of the city if they could.”

Which makes sense when the MTA is consistently ruining our commutes into the city. And bedbugs have taken over our apartments, dorms, stores, and libraries. But realistically, we have a lot to, as the article says, “happy talk” about. Such as the following:

1. We have yarn people.

2. One of our gubernatorial candidates is this guy.

3. Our bars rock. Our restaurants rock. Our shops rock. And we’re the greatest sports city in the world.

4. It’s the only place in the world you’re gonna see this.

5. BONUS: Even the aliens want to be here.

So disregard what Bloomberg was “quoted” as saying to the Onion:

“You know what the greatest city in the world is?” Bloomberg asked reporters. “Scottsdale, Arizona. It’s clean, it’s not too big, it’s got a couple streets with shops and restaurants, and the people there aren’t fucking insane. This place is fucking insane. And by the way, that’s not a reason to like it. Anyone who says that is a delusional dirtbag.”

New York City is still the greatest city in the world, because the New York Times says so.


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