The arrival of Bluth Company Burlesque, the Arrested Development-themed burlesque show at the Peoples Improv on Saturday, is a welcome gimmick to the burlesque genre, following the footsteps of Star Wars burlesque, Ghostbusters burlesque, and Lord of the Rings burlesque. In this show, “each family member (and Lucille 2 and Kitty!) are taking their clothes off to raise money while Michael and George host,” writes an organizer.
OK! But the well isn’t dry just yet. Here are a few more burlesque show suggestions from the big and small screens.
The Glengarry Glen Ross Show for a Cadillac El Dorado
Before he was berating paparazzi with homophobic slurs, Alec Baldwin’s raw sexual power as alpha male Blake in James Foley’s 1992 film adaptation of David Mamet’s 1984 play Glengarry Glen Ross was absolutely arresting. Combine that with the ancient theatrical arts of burlesque, and you have a show worth seeing. Meantime, you’ll have to settle for memories of the Naked Girls Reading version back in 2011.
Inspirational Quote: “That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing. Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids.”
The Simpsons burlesque
Burlesque is referenced in 1996’s “Bart After Dark” episode (above), so it feels like this show is already written. If the success of this year’s Mr. Burns: A Post-Electric Play is any indication, today’s audiences are hungry for more Simpsons — unless it’s an actual new episode of The Simpsons.
Inspirational Quote: “If there’s a bad bookkeeping joke, I haven’t heard it.”
Masters of the Universe burlesque
Anything to do with this series of toy commercials disguised as fantasy cartoons that aired on Saturday mornings could easily transition to burlesque. For one, everyone in this cartoon is already dressed as a burlesque dancer, and two, well, the audience has aged in time with the genre’s growth in popularity.
Inspirational Quote: “For the honor of Grayskull!”
The Shining burlesque
What happens when you remove the cheeky wink-and-nod flavor of a burlesque show and replace it with terrifying scenes from a horror film that’s spawned dozens of conspiracy theories? We hope it’s a burlesque tribute to The Shining.
Inspirational Quote: You could choose any number of lines from the film, but “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” seems apt.
The Duck Dynasty Burlesque Hour
The Robertson family behind the duck call empire stars in this A&E reality program (remember when A&E was conceived as a cable version of PBS?) that, if turned into a burlesque show, should cash in on just enough irony to turn a profit.
Inspirational Quote: “I’ve been showing up late and dirty my whole life.”
The Burlesque Tribute to El Topo
What happens when you turn one of the greatest, strangest films ever into a burlesque show? Less fake blood and probably more skin. And debates over whether El Topo is exploitation or exploration are sure to continue.
Inspirational Quote: “You are seven years old. You are a man. Bury your first toy and your mother’s picture.”
The Fox & Friends Burlesque Morning Show
In between anecdotes about our godless country’s annual war on Christmas, the Fox & Friends gang — Steve Doocy, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Brian Kilmeade — shares the day’s news, hot topics, and talking points. There’s a mix of personalities and plenty of silly jokes that easily lend themselves to burlesque one-liners. Also, don’t discount this show’s proven ability to rile up the liberal media almost daily, a talent that is sure to generate press and probably bring in a few of those Duck Dynasty fans, too.
Inspirational Quote: “The Department of Education invited a bunch of D.C. kids in and they had this festivity and they handed out these particular Nickelodeon books where clearly Nickelodeon is pushing a global warming agenda.”
Seinfeld Burlesque, the Burlesque Show About Nothing
While one of the classic Seinfeld episodes may not be the best fit for the burlesque treatment, fictional movie Rochelle, Rochelle would certainly do.
Elaine: “You know men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility a woman will take her top off.”
George: “So what’s your point?”
This reality show that aims to help hoarders shed their life-threateningly enormous collections of old Barbie dolls, newspapers, shoeboxes, and trashbags full of old sweatshirts could make for a fine burlesque show already, if they just made it sexy.
Inspirational Quote: “Walking through my house is like walking through an obstacle course on a tight rope.” Seems ripe for a stage production.
The House Hunters International Burlesque Revue
June has to relocate to Denmark from Missouri with her husband, Geoff, for a job at an architecture firm, but first they must find a home and adjust to the Danish way of life — and those small bathrooms! It’s not going to be easy turning this into a burlesque show, but neither is moving to Europe.
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