“@zachjohnson88: @realDonaldTrump please help get this country back from all these idiots and corrupt government #2016 Will be working on it
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 1, 2013
The painful shutdown of the federal government has made one thing all too clear: This country needs better leadership. Leadership only an enraged, self-aggrandizing cantaloupe can provide. Now, where could we find one of—oh hey, here’s Donald Trump, hinting clumsily on Twitter again that he’ll be running for president in 2016. To the Delusion Mobile!
Trump is highly upset over Obamacare and the government shutdown, which offend his sense of patriotic duty and makes him suspect that people might be paying attention to something other than him. He and a bunch of people we can’t quite believe are real have decided that he’s the only four-time bankruptcy-filer who can turn this ship around. And although his presidential campaign in 2012 didn’t take off—or even, you know, actually happen at all—this time it definitely, definitely will.
“@bigjohnryan75: @realDonaldTrump we need @realDonaldTrump and Bill O’Reilly to be in charge to straighten this country out! @FoxNews”
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 1, 2013
“@MyLifeIsLibby: @realDonaldTrump you seem like the only one who can fix this mess! Run for office!”
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 1, 2013
“@kennyj7d7 @realDonaldTrump Run for office, you are the only one that can fix this big mess.” Perhaps true!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 1, 2013
“@Follow_DTrick: @BanginBella i didnt vote for him but i cant wait till he’s out of office…@realDonaldTrump for President! 2016″
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 27, 2013
“@maathewdavis: @realDonaldTrump if the people want to get our economy back on track, they’ll vote #TRUMP in 2016″Thank you.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 28, 2013
He’s interspersing those retweets with some helpful, non-vapid insights on the state of the nation:
The Republicans can absolutely win if they stick together-but they are NOT sticking together. Sen. McCain just said “we can’t win”.Very bad!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 1, 2013
Obama has not passed a single budget in 4 years. Democrats don’t even vote them in Congress. He has failed to lead!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 1, 2013
It is crucial for Republicans to remain united during this shutdown
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 1, 2013
Can you imagine, with all of the talk about ObamaCare, technical breakdowns made it a disastrous day. Our government is badly broken!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 2, 2013
On Fox News on Monday, where Trump is taken seriously as a human being, he also opined that everything would be better if the two parties played golf together a little more.
Can we just hurry up and elect this man president now? How about President for Life? In the meantime, tune into Trump’s Twitter feed, where he’ll surely have more important thoughts on geopolitical strategy, along with tips on how to care for one’s own luxuriant, natural, soft, silky hair.