Get Ready For Bi-Curious George

Curious George was always such a cutely frisky creature, yet so maddeningly asexual.

Well, now there’s Bi-Curious George, an unauthorized book parody by Andrew Simonian (which sounds strangely like Andrew Simian), and that’s all been rectum-fied.

In this version, George is straight but curious, getting all excited when spotting a man with a purple beret on.

The man gets hot too, suddenly craving some full-throttle monkey love.

When the man puts his beret on the ground en route to heading towards the hot monkey, George runs down from the tree to see if there’s a real designer label inside the jaunty chapeaux.

Sounds more like a closet case to me.

Anyway, Bi-curious George should probably stay within the animal kingdom and date that old cartoon hero, Bi-Polar Bear.

They can shop for their wedding trinkets at Bi Rite.

Make me stop.