The perfect discreet sexting partner is subjective, unique to each person. But as a man seeking a female sexting partner, for me, a viable sexting partner needs to be on my level of adventurousness, flexible, available, and tech-savvy enough to know how to keep a secret. Merely wanting to keep the relationship on the down low isn’t enough; my sexting partners must be willing to cover their tracks.
I have been on the hunt for someone to share nudes with. Why? Finding a discreet sexting partner is important. There’s enough pleasure to go around, and with the appropriate partner, there’s no reason for anyone to find out about the nighttime extracurriculars I engage in. According to a Kinsey Institute study, over half of all women sext, so I knew I should be able to find a partner without too much trouble. Below are some websites that I tried, including the one that led me to my sexting buddy.
The Contenders
- Reddit – Good for relationships of all kinds; bad for the amount of effort searching takes
- Onlyfans – Impersonal and costly, but easy to find a partner
- Dating Apps – Difficult to find casual people, but can be worth it if you have time
- Arousr – The best place to find a discreet sexting buddy
You can get the answer to most anything on Reddit. Need to find the best hole-in-the-wall diner in town? Reddit’s got you. Initially, I thought Reddit might be the best place to find someone interested in discreet sexting. There’s a subreddit that has personal ads on there, so you can find whatever you want. From gaming partners to people who want to fall in love, it seems like Reddit is a one-stop shop for virtual people meeting.
But here’s what I found: since anyone can create a profile on Reddit, I occasionally walked into scams or ended up texting men. Why would a man pose as a lady sexting buddy on the Internet? For the same reasons people do anything on the Internet: shits, giggles, and cash. I couldn’t be quite sure who I was talking to and whether they are who they had led me to believe they were.
There’s a level of trust I need in a sexting partner that I simply didn’t encounter on Reddit. I had to be extra careful to block them afterward, never send revealing information of any kind, and kept my nudes anonymous. Even when I thought I had found someone, I had the thought in the back of my mind the whole time that it could, in fact, be a dude. I’m not into dudes, so that was not sexy.
Further, there are folks looking for everything on Reddit: friendship, marriage, or even daily conversation. I found myself sorting through the never-ending posts trying to find someone who just wants to hook up virtually, and that took a while.
OnlyFans
My next stop was OnlyFans because it is notorious for connecting people to their favorite adult stars. It saves you the hassle of sorting through millions of Reddit personals, so there’s much less time between you and your next orgasm with a newfound, sexy Internet friend.
But OnlyFans immediately had a couple of drawbacks. For one, chatting with an adult content creator is different from finding a discreet sexting partner. There’s a layer of space between performer and audience—it lacks the intimacy and connection that occurs when it’s just you and your sexting buddy, sending nudes back and forth. It feels more like paying for porn than an illicit tryst with a sexy stranger.
What’s worse is that I knew the more success my favorite content creator had, the less likely I was to be chatting with them. Once they hit any level of Internet fame, it’s likely that they have outsourced the job of chatting with fans to someone else—so they have more time for content creation and can make more money. I could still have wound up chatting with a man, not the hottie I follow online. Plus, I spent money to do it. That’s not a risk I am willing to take.
Dating Apps
Dating apps are becoming more and more popular for people looking to hook up in one way or another. Dating apps seem like an ideal option because you don’t need to pay the people you’re talking to, and in most cases, you’ll be talking to the person you sought out. But in many ways, I faced the same problems as I did with Reddit. I put in my profile that I wanted casual, virtual, discreet sexting, but I still faced the ratio of many women looking for something more serious versus the select few that want what I want. I was looking for a needle in a haystack, and with dating apps, it took too long for me to find what I sought.
Arousr
Arousr is where my search for a discreet sexting partner ended. Why? They verify who you’re sexting with and bonus: they do an age check, too. If you’re chatting up someone hot, you know that Arousr has taken the steps to verify their identity and that you’re not accidentally sending a dick pic to a minor. Plus, there’s no wading through people who want friendship or a long-term relationship. Everyone is there for discreet sexting. The chat hosts only see your username, so they have no way to get in touch with you afterward.
If you value your time, money, and privacy like I do, Arousr is the most convenient site to find a sexting partner. Good luck and happy sexting!