By Steve Weinstein
By Bryan Bierman
By Lindsey Rhoades
By Chaz Kangas
By Ben Westhoff and Sarah Purkrabek
By Jena Ardell
By Jesse Sendejas Jr.
By Katherine Turman
So, to recap: I've had the 12-inch and CD-45 forever; the album program sequence 3/5/7/1/2 (18 min.) kills for bubblepop bonus quotient (check it outwhy aren't albums 20 minutes long???). You MUST listen to that sequence, it rocks. The 12-inch+CD B-side+CD sequence=the best damn 36 minutes of music of the year! Yup, I stand by every word (except for a couple I had to correct the spelling on). If annoying people (like, everyone over the age of 14, except myself) is the criterion of punkiness, then this is the punkest band around. With another batch of songs as strong (a batting average that would certainly be around .700 overall), I'd call B*Witched BEST DAMN BUBBLEGUM BAND OF ALL TIME (it's okay to exaggerate to make a point, and hey, who was hyping the Monkees and Abba in their prime? Like, no one.) And lord knows this is gonna be THE YEAR OF BUBBLE GUM (a/k/a Bobby Sherman's Revenge). (Hey, is that the first good Pazz & Jop poll header in decades or what?) Right on sisters! I hope this act sells 10 zillion records, goes on tour next fall with Britney Spears, and makes a movie with the Spice Girls called B*Witched and the Spice Girls Run Over Godzilla in the Spice Girls Bus.
You have to forgive my son, when he gets ahold of a Jolt cola he's incoherent and out of control. And he never understood Moby Dick, it sort of disoriented him forever. I told him: "Mikey! It's about a WHALE! Forget the symbolism! It's a FISH STORY!" But he wouldn't listen, and his life has been a little wobbly ever since. (His five favorite rock bands of all time: Beatles, Kinks, Beach Boys, Green Day, and [!?!] Warrant [!?!].)
Sincerely, Mike's Mom
B*Witched play the Beacon Theater April 21 and April 27.