By Chaz Kangas
By Katherine Turman
By Phillip Mlynar
By Harley Oliver Brown
By Abdullah "T Kid" Saeed
By Matt Caputo
By Devon Maloney
By Chris Chafin
I got a hit! I got a hit! I'm a one-hit wonder and I'm proud of it!" Twelve-stepping, hairdressing, stripping on the Strip, and rocking the smog, Hollywood's own Texas Terri Bomb! (Laird) knows she'll have to stay smart, travel far, and get very, very lucky, to be even a one-hit wonder. But knowing and wanting are both broth for Terri's vivid-to-livid Your Lips . . . My Ass!
She also knows how to curve her enthusiasm up into a sweetly self-mocking, self-cautioning turn, drawling: "Rolling Sto-o-o-ne, yer mah new home," the better to climb into your lap, mussing your quiff. Hell's Belle's covering for her army of punk-times-glametal lifers (including a shot of MC5er Wayne Kramer). As on executive producer Jack Douglas's most straight-ahead Patti Smith tracks, Terri swings through a raging groan to a bellow and back: "She caww you on the tellyphawwn, she aiyyn, gon leave you alone; she don't even know the meaning of No! No! No! NO! Never shut up, Never shut up! Baby always wants mo'!"
A couple of songs are mo' like Larry and Joe (not even Curly). But Terri's still surveilling "Raunch City": "More and more and more, you see the jungle turn safe. I'd pick off a suit, but they're out of my range." Why? Cos you're such an underdawg? At first, yeah, but then, "More and more and more, I'm makin' friends with the enemy. Walkin' arm in arm" she's too close to (being) her target. "AH'M UH M-A-A-A-N."
Which can only be topped by "To the Top": "To the top! To The Top! OF WHAT!" Texas Terri Bomb! blows up, keeps going, gets a stress-relieving workout in Iggy's purely assertive "I Got a Right," and showers with Thin Lizzy's short 'n' curly "The Rocker": "He just looked at me and rolled me them big eyes, he said 'Oh-h-h-h, I'll do anything for you!' " Quite.