By Steve Weinstein
By Bryan Bierman
By Lindsey Rhoades
By Chaz Kangas
By Ben Westhoff and Sarah Purkrabek
By Jena Ardell
By Jesse Sendejas Jr.
By Katherine Turman
SYNOPSIS: "Truth or illusion, George. Do you know the difference?" That's what Martha growls to poor old doormat-hubby George in Who's Afraid... Clink clink clink, my dear. And frankly, we can't tell anymore, either, from all that truth/illusion malarky. And with another year before us, we grow increasingly unsure. Still, that's why someone invented the Carpenters. Bliss, even if we know they didn't really mean it much longer than it took to run to the bank and deposit the check, then swing by the drugstore for a bag full of sister's little helper.
The big question, of course, is what were those kids, hound dogs and the pig the kids stole from the shed all doing in that bed, anyhow? Maybe this.
NEXT WEEK: LOUD email@example.com
Intro: "Candyman Messiah" (excerpt) by Army of Lovers, from Massive Luxury Overload (Giant, 1992)
"Get Together" (Your Navy Presents version) by the Carpenters, from The Essential Collection (A&M, 2002)
"True Faith" by New Order, from Singles (London, 2005)
"Blue Bird" by Timothy Brown, from the Nashville soundtrack (MCA, 1978)
"Rollin' Stone" by the Arbors, from The Very Best of the Arbors (Taragon, 1998)
"Be True to Your School" (single version) by the Beach Boys, from Sounds of Summer (Capitol, 2003)
"My Yiddisha Mammy" by Irving Kaufman, from Jewface (Reboot Stereophonic,2006)
"Dizzy Miss Lizzie" by the Flying Lizards, from Top Ten(Statik, 1985)