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Hot Hot Heat

A graphical dissertation on the number one song in America

This is why "This Is Why I'm Hot" is hot: Because it's hot. There are of course other reasons the breakout single from Mims, a Washington Heights rapper who intends to carry New York hip-hop on his back and restore us to glory, is hot. It ascended to number one on Billboard's Hot 100, for example, and topped iTunes' singles chart as well. But consider these other, purer, more intangible reasons why it's hot, best explained by Mims himself over the course of the song. Where appropriate, we will back him up with visual aids.

The most amazing line in "This Is Why I'm Hot"—and, even at this early a juncture, quite possibly the most amazing line of any song to see release in 2007—is "I'm hot 'cause I'm fly/You ain't 'cause you not." Brutal and unassailable in its simplicity. Consider the reasoning, first, of just "I'm hot 'cause I'm fly":

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Mims is hot because he's fly. But it raises the question: Does being hot guarantee one's being fly? "You ain't 'cause you not" would seem to clear that up:

image


It would appear that flyand hotare interchangable. If you are one, you are both; if you aren't at least one, you are neither.

If you find completely overlapping Venn diagrams visually unhelpful, consider this tautology:

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If that's a bit pretentious, then maybe a blunt flowchart works best:

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The other remarkable, oft-quoted line in "This Is Why I'm Hot" is "I could sell a mil' sayin' nothin' on a track." Critics gibe that "This Is Why I'm Hot" proves precisely that; others muse on what Mims would sell if he deigned to actually say something on a track. Would he sell less than a mil'? Exactly a mil', as when he said nothing? Or a great deal more than a mil'? The song does not elaborate.

In any event, note that he can do those things, not will, which suggests he might not. As these claims and predictions are speculative, there are more possible outcomes; it seems reasonable to assert that Mims can't sell more than a mil' sayin' nothin'. Though we would love to see him try.

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Sonically, the most entertaining part of "This Is Why I'm Hot" is the first verse, in which Mims underscores his hotness by touting his skill at adapting to regional styles, as the slow, minimal, eerie beat morphs beneath him, sampling both "Nuthin' But a G Thang" and "Jesus Walks." In the Dirty Dirty (South) he makes the ladies bounce. He slows it down in the Midwest per their preference. He does it the Cali way in L.A., and in Chi, in addition to adeptly moving the crowds from side to side, everyone loves his fashion sense. (If you enjoy nothing else about "This Is Why I'm Hot," acknowledge the rakish, immensely appealing way Mims says the word attire.)

Our quarrel lies with "If you need it hyphy/I take it to the Bay," an homage to the Oakland–San Francisco Bay Area's relentlessly knuckleheaded and sorta wonderful hyphy movement, with its proclivities for going dumb, making thizz faces, ghost-riding the whip, etc. (Yahdidabooboo.) But unlike Mims's other geographical shout-outs, that's all he says here—"I take it to the Bay/'Frisco to Sac-town/They do it e'y'day." First of all, no one calls it "Frisco" except rhyme-starved rappers, and the only worthwhile MCs living anywhere near Sacramento are in prison. But even worse, there's no style adjustment here—he just takes it to the Bay. This is wholly insufficient for hotness—several entities that take it to the Bay do not qualify:

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The song's other two verses are a relative letdown—Mims can get chopped birds by the flock, he's got money in the bag, he coordinates his outfits, he compels you to Google the word guap, people tend to like how he records, he's into big spendin', bah. He does intimate that we will find him "with different women" that we personally have "never had," which is awfully gentlemanly of him, really. Since we're feeling charitable we'll assume all of Mims's women are hot; with regard to our own conquests, it's best to be honest with ourselves.
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Though a fantastic song, "This Is Why I'm Hot" verily reeks of Skee-Lo. It's so distinctive and goofy that no follow-up could possibly do it justice. But even if Mims is not built for endurance, he has given us an invaluable gift nonetheless—reclaiming and re-energizing the word hot after years of abuse. Plumbing one's memory (with a bit of Internet aid) reveals how even reputable musicians have overused the "I'm hot like _____" construction. Behold:
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Yes. Mere mortals are hot like other people or things; having ascended to a higher plane, Mims is hot like Mims. It doesn't get hotter than that.
 
  • 10/20/2011 2:44:00 PM

    Barenaked Ladies are also hot like wasabi...when they bust rhymes.

  • Lisa B. 03/18/2011 10:01:00 PM

    This is fantastic! Even though the statements in Fig. 3 are missing one close-parenthesis. We'll overlook that.

  • Lazyeyedfool 01/15/2011 5:14:00 PM

    That's actually the conclusion he renders... read again...

  • nevamind 01/26/2010 11:31:00 AM

    i just don't understand the pictures,therefore the whole story!

  • Laney B 01/17/2010 2:12:00 AM

    This is an amazing article and I find myself coming back to read it years later.

  • rick 08/07/2009 1:51:00 AM

    just saw this article... hilarious. but i think you make a poor interpretation near the start -- "i'm hot cause i'm fly / you ain't cause you not." you interpret that as "you ain't fly cause you ain't hot," which is what leads you to the conclusion that hot = fly. however, i think the proper interpretation syntactically would be that "you ain't hot cause you ain't fly," which could mean that fly is still a subset of hot.

  • Sunil 06/16/2009 1:06:00 AM

    This remains one of my favorite things on the Internet. I come back to it frequently for a smile. Thumbs up, verily.

  • Razorborne 03/07/2009 7:17:00 AM

    thank you for this. that is all.

  • Rebekah 08/23/2008 12:30:00 AM

    The images in this article no longer appear! Please, please find a way to make them reappear! I told my friends about this article and how funny it was but no one believes me without the visual aids!

  • Steve 08/18/2008 12:21:00 AM

    Great article, Rob!!! Really funny!

  • Catherine 07/19/2008 9:39:00 PM

    Wow this essay is amazing.. my teacher printed it off and brought it to class and read it to the class, he used it as an example of a persuasive essay. it was pretty neat, the whole class was dying..i put it on my facebook cause it was just too funny! =) nice...

  • loganex 08/29/2007 9:27:00 PM

    Congratulations, man. I almost fell out of my chair laughing. The best compliment I can give is "I wish I had thought of that." Logan Orem, UT

  • ryan 03/27/2007 9:01:00 PM

    that is quite possibly the best article ever written in the history of mankind. all hail rob! hahaahahahaa. delicioustacular.

  • bubbac22 03/19/2007 12:30:00 AM

    i have a correction: Better Than Ezra was merely referencing the Barenaked Ladies. Better Than Ezra: "But just like that Barenaked Ladies' song I'm hot like wasabi when I'm next to your body" Barenaked Ladies: "Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes Big like LeAnn Rimes Because I'm all about value"

 

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