Mediocre Girl Gone Good

Rihanna's triumphant, only occasionally cringeworthy pop-star coronation

A A A Comments By Rodney Dugue Tuesday, May 29 2007

The punkish hairdo; the rumored affair with label prez Jay-Z; the overtly sex-starved stage routine. This is maturity, apparently, and it's splashed all over the cover of Rihanna's third album in as many years, her svelte physique twisted into a banana arch. On Good Girl Gone Bad, the Bajan import redraws herself as a serious, time-tested pop star, which means being goofy and sexually daring—often simultaneously, as when she's telling a guy "I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine" on the ridiculous, New Order–biting car-as-sex-kitten metaphor "Shut Up and Drive." In the past, Rihanna has failed to establish herself, engineering a fussy, nomadic sound that started out as soca, then fled for jungle-tinged bubblegum (as on 2006's "S.O.S"), and has now morphed into a sporadic melting pot of good rock 'n' roll, hip-hop, country, bad rock 'n' roll, and techno. Good Girlnever settles on a sound, and Rihanna vacillates between aping Gretchen Wilson, Ashanti, Gwen Stefani, and Pink. Nonetheless, she often sounds every bit like the superstar she clearly intends to be.

photo: Roberto D'Este

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In terms of inventive, catchy metaphors, huge lead single "Umbrella" may be the worst thing since 50 Cent's "Candy Shop," but generally that's what constitutes a hit: simple Girl Scout images. Timbaland submits three standout tracks, including the Justin Timberlake– assisted "Rehab," full of jingling bells and a rumbling synth pattern. Not all is dandy elsewhere—the cheesy aerobics workout "Don't Stop the Music" belongs at a Bat Mitzvah, and "Push Up on Me" is a so-so come-on that displays more hormones than talent. But Good Girl's finest moment comes last, on the title track, wherein Rihanna explores her idea of a bad girl in detail: "All he do is keep me at home/Won't let me go nowhere/He thinks that because I'm at home I won't be getting it on." None of this is convincing, but if nothing else, she's the hardest-working marginally talented artist out there.

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