After The New York Times linked to our piece about Bros Icing Bros — a game/form of urban sabotage involving the worst malt liquor drink on the planet that is not, as far as anyone can tell, a viral marketing campaign — we’d figured that the worst of it had been pushed through relatively early on.
How wrong we were. This thing has already spiraled out of control. Beware the icing. And if your name is Ashton Kutcher, you should especially beware the icing.
Because someone has started a website challenging the world to find Twitter-busy Hollywood star-bro Ashton Kutcher — the thespian in front of such contemporary classics as Dude, Where’s My Car? and The Butterfly Effect, in case you needed reminding — and “Ice” him. As in, “Hand Ashton Kutcher a Smirnoff Ice, and Get Him to Drink It, in What Might Be the Most Insipid, Stupid, and Funny Drinking Game Ever Concocted.” It’s called, of course, IceAshton.com. The premise is quite simple:
The reason it’s so funny is — given Kutcher’s status in social media, as he’s possibly its biggest star — he might actually be game for this nonsense. And no, I’m not playing, and neither should you, and this is how I know it’s not a Smirnoff Ice campaign: this entire thing is predicated on just how fucking disgusting Smirnoff Ice actually is. It makes Mike’s Hard Lemonade look like a bottle of Opus One. Dear god.