Are you hip to the cultural brainworm sometimes referred to as Bros Icing Bros? It involves Smirnoff Ice and humiliation, kind of like your third “real” girlfriend. Regardless: Last night at Cipriani Wall Street, a ceremony celebrating the greater cultural merits of the I CAN HAZ CHEEZERBURGER guy — like the Peabodys, but for assholes — took place. It’s called The Webby Awards, and it’s your rabbit hole to go down, man. Either way, there was an after-party at the Hiro Ballroom, where all the people from the Webbys went to get drunk. And there, something magical took place, wherein someone tried to ice a legendary American frontiersman. In other words: BROS ICING BUZZ.
Via omniscient gadfly photographer Nick McGlynn and Peter Feld, please stare at this picture, but not too hard:
Yes, that is in fact Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin, who was at The Webby Awards because he — like everyone and their mother, except for you — has an iPhone app that does something you could conceivably need an iPhone app for. And that is, to his right, Foursquare co-founder Naveen Selvadurai, who created an iPhone app that’s useful for avoiding people who check into Foursquare a lot.
A BRO is ICING a BUZZ! Aldrin likely didn’t accept, because he went to the fucking moon, and of all the things you could say to this person you’re asking him to drink a Smirnoff Ice. Which is aside from the fact that the thrice-married Aldrin is a recovering alcoholic.
That’s okay, though. Those who have been to or come from outer space will eventually be “Iced” by someone here on Earth. No doubt, you can imagine how this happens: aliens crash-land in a field in Georgia. Some guys race up to them, astonished with their discovery. And when the first indisputable evidence that other life does in fact exist in this universe finally reveals itself to the face of man….it gets presented with a Smirnoff Ice and told “not to be a pussy.” And we know how that one’s gonna work out:
One small step for Bro. One giant leap for Brokind.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on June 15, 2010