By Steve Weinstein
By Bryan Bierman
By Lindsey Rhoades
By Chaz Kangas
By Ben Westhoff and Sarah Purkrabek
By Jena Ardell
By Jesse Sendejas Jr.
By Katherine Turman
Burger King announces a new "Start a fistfight at a Ben Folds/Boston Pops concert and get a free Whopper" promotion.
Have some onion rings while you're at it, you choad.
TRANSCENDENT CONCERT EXPERIENCE
Watching a roomful of complete strangers go absolutely apeshit to the almost violently joyful noise-rock stylings of Dan Deacon.
The phrase "happy hardcore" actually makes sense for the first time ever.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR THIS WEEK
Wishing you had access to technology that could digitally remove all the hokey vocals from Apparat's majestic Walls.
No talking during the movie, jerkoff.
HILARIOUS ROCK-CRITIC JARGON
The very existence of the phrase "blog house."
"It used to be Shithouse!"
OBSCURE CINEMATIC REFERENCES
That's right, two shout-outs to the same Robin Hood: Men in Tights joke in six months.
Look up Men in Tights and Latrine on YouTube; it'll make sense, honest.
Mims unveils "This Is Why I Rock."
It may technically rock, but it sure as hell ain't hot.