Put Your Paddle to the Metal

1. Balls of Fury is a movie about:

1. A former table-tennis prodigy (Dan Fogler as Randy Daytona) enlisted by the FBI to infiltrate the underground Ping-Pong tournament of a legendary Chinese criminal (Christopher Walken).
2. Suppository jokes.
3. Nothing worth discussing and even less worth seeing.
4. All of the above.

1. A comedic genius.
2. Killing time until his agent gets a call from Judd Apatow.
3. A cross between Jack Black and Richard Simmons.

1. "Maricón!"
2. "¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!"
3. "Nigga, pleez!"
4. "Say hello to my little friend!"

1. "Be as the cricket."
2. "The cheeks cannot hold the smoke. That is what it is."
3. "Ping-Pong is not the Macarena."
4. "I miss you, Victor Wong."

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Totally, like with those weird little sticks they use to eat and everything!

1. A comedic genius.
2. Killing time until his agent gets a call from Judd Apatow.
3. Ka-ching, bitches!

1. They're dudes!
2. They're dudes who scream like little girls!
3. Oh, I get it: Sarcasm. Lighten up, homo.

1. A pair of breasts.
2. A pair of breasts that know kung fu.
3. Who's Maggie Q?

1. At the multiplex.
2. On an airplane.
3. Loaded.
4. Never.

1. Freddy Got Fingered is to Finnegans Wake.
2. Borat is to Austerlitz.
3. Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle is to The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson.
4. Superbad is to the Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus.

1. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Blades of Glory.
2. Enter the Dragon, Fists of Fury.
3. The Karate Kid, Big Trouble in Little China.
4. Wu Tang Forever.
5. Ka-ching, bitches!

1. Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant.
2. A racist monkey.

1. Don't hate—Mr. Garant did a lovely jo
2. Stephen Chow.
3. Jacques Rivett

1. As lazy as the movie under consideration.
2. Lazier than the movie under consideration.

Which insufferable, waddle-ass "film critic" sitting behind me evidently found Balls of Fury endlessly hilarious?

The first reader to answer each question correctly will receive a CD of Def Leppard's Rock of Ages: The Definitive Collection, plus a gift certificate worth $40, good toward a table-tennis club or male escort of your choice. E-mail answers to nlee@villagevoice.com. The correct answers and winning entry will be announced on our website September 5.