Bangkok Dangerous

Comments (0) By Tim Grierson Wednesday, Sep 3 2008

Details

Bangkok Dangerous
Directed by Danny and Oxide Pang
Lionsgate
Now playing

More About

By way of introduction, globetrotting assassin Joe (Nicolas Cage) tells us the rules for survival as a hitman, the most important being: Don't get emotionally attached to anyone. As soon as he breathes those words during his cold-as-ice voiceover, alert moviegoers will instantly peg Bangkok Dangerous as another of those dopey crime thrillers where the hardcore, bad-ass antihero inexplicably decides one day to lower his guard and open his heart, causing all kinds of hell to break loose. Adapting their 1999 Thai film, Hong Kong directors/brothers Danny and Oxide Pang (The Eye) start things off promisingly, draping the Bangkok locations in a sleek neon sleaze that suggests lowdown B-movie pleasure. But soon Joe, who's in town to kill four targets, takes in troublemaker Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm) as his apprentice and falls for the deaf-mute shopkeeper Fon (Charlie Yeung), and the sinking realization kicks in: These people are taking this nonsense seriously. What follows is a series of ponderous training montages—shoot those melons, Kong!—and painfully precious courtship scenes between Joe and Fon, stranding an audience that just came to see some cool shoot-'em-ups. They do happen eventually, but not before Joe reveals his soft side by bonding with an elephant. You heard me.