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Hate-Watching Hating Breitbart

Hate-Watching <I>Hating Breitbart</I>

Let’s say that you and your friends get accused of being racist. And let’s say there’s nothing in your heart that fits that accusation. You know you’re a celebrator of freedom, a passionate American who wishes all people could enjoy the best that this country has to offer.

You’re white, incidentally.

Still, you’re accused, and your reputation is tarnished, so you elect to fight back. How to go about it? If you’re the late Andrew Breitbart, champion of the Tea Party’s virtue against the likes of Janeane Garofalo, the answer is clear: Point out as often as you can that, no, it’s actually black people who are the racists.

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Hating Breitbart
Directed by Andrew Marcus
Rockaway Mountain Pictures
Opens May 17, Cinema Village
85 minutes
Rated PG-13

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You don’t put it in those words, of course. No. You yell at the media—“You bullshit artists, you hateful bastards!” You say, “You’re going to call us racist? You’re going to call us potential Timothy McVeighs? Well, fuck you.” And you do what you’re best at—you dig up video of black people behaving in ways that any good person would quail at. Government officials, community organizers, the people that you’ve said are out to hurt this country, who collude with the media to destroy lives and stop Americans like you from telling the truth.

To get that footage, of course, you have to fudge some. Maybe you send dickweed James O’Keefe out there to playact that he’s a pimp, soliciting free tax advice from those ACORN people who claim they’re helping poor Americans find housing. (You’re not rich, and you found housing!) And then, when those ACORN bastards fail to say shameful pro-pimping stuff on camera, you can always edit, make that video reflect what you know they’re really thinking. They’ll help criminals, with taxpayer money. There’s got to be a couple seconds in there where those ACORN women—black, of course—look like they might kind of/sort of not be disgusted with O’Keefe, that skinny piece-of-shit talking about importing underage whores from El Salvador while dressed like Superfly.

And—wait, really? O’Keefe didn’t actually wear that pimp costume in the ACORN offices? Well, what’s it matter? There’s footage of him jaunting around D.C. in it, and that’s good enough. Splice that in, and you’ve got proof: Proof that Janeane Garofalo and those virgins over at MSNBC were wrong to call the Tea Party racist or nationalist or whatever, because goddamn it, right here, on video, it’s absolutely clear that black people are the real problem.

Not that you would ever say that, of course. But you do say things like this: That multiculturalism represents an attempt to “pit us against each other.” That Congressman John Lewis, the civil rights leader, is a “liar” because nobody could find video evidence that any Tea Party people ever called him “nigger.” That’s what you believe: Without video, there’s no proof, so how dare Joan Walsh at Salon call your friends racist?

Tommy Christopher, that little shit from Mediaite, says, “To act like we’re never going to report something unless there’s video? That’s idiotic.” If he were here, you’d grab his tape recorder and scream “Fuck you!” into it, like you did David Weigel’s at the Tea Party convention. Nick Gillespie, one of those Reason guys, calls you “the Al Qaeda of media” and you know that’s a compliment, because this is war—war against those racists who dared to call you racist.

Maybe you keep doing this. “You try to destroy people!” you shout at a reporter, and to show everyone how bad guys like him are, you release some more videos, destroy some people yourself. That Shirley Sherrod woman at the USDA, fired just hours after you showed footage of her bragging to the NAACP that she once considered not helping a white farmer. And they call you racist? You tell the press—who never give a voice to people like you—that the NAACP crowd applauded her for “sticking it to the white man.”

You destroy Anthony Weiner, but that one’s cake. Didn’t even have to fudge anything!

And then maybe you die. Lots of people are sad, and lots of others are sad they won’t have you to hate. Fuck them. You did good. You did your best. You never proved you and your friends aren’t racist, but you did pull off something much more grand: You gave everybody something to yell about.

Maybe someday someone makes a shapeless, uncritical documentary about how much fun you had doing all this. You’d be charming in it, because you always had as much charisma in you as you had rage.

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27 comments
alexander56
alexander56

Someone is clearly not happy with Breitbart. 
So, what does he do? He creates an editorial, not by EXPOSING Breitbart, but rather just filling it with Ad Hominems and including as many people like Breitbart as he can.

This article is NOTHING but a baseless rant.
Thank you

GeneSiskelcellanemia
GeneSiskelcellanemia

It's a heartgripping story with a happy ending that the whole family can enjoy.  Specifically, the ending on South Barrington Avenue next to South Barrington Place.

GeneSiskelcellanemia
GeneSiskelcellanemia

It's a heartgripping story with a happy ending that the whole family can enjoy.  Specifically, the ending on the sidewalk of South Barrington Avenue, across from South Barrington Place.

Stevart
Stevart

And maybe you're an idiot, and maybe you are really stupid and maybe one day you'll realize that the U.S. has become a third-world dictatorship where like maybe the government can sic the FBI and IRS on the average citizen.  Like maybe...just maybe...  

PS: I like Breitbart and visit his site everyday. 

CaliCody
CaliCody

What a useless review.


R.I.P. Andrew Breitbart.. You are missed.

jack
jack

Good riddance , fuck face. I pray your supporters burn in hell right next to you. 

chucklingabit
chucklingabit

Yes, we already KNOW that ALL Tea Party supporters are racist. They were only pretending to be against higher taxes and expanded government power. They chose not to surround and shame or chase out several vocal racists just to provide them cover, so they wouldn't look quite as racist in comparison. But they didn't fool anyone with a brain!!!!

I don't understand how people can be SO BLIND to the racism. It's like when Senator Reid called President Bush a liar (and a loser!) Everyone KNEW that he was just trying to provide cover to latter-day racists who would then call President Obama a liar. He was working with the KOCHSUCKER BROTHERS on the foundations for the tea baggers back then. This is how he also provided cover to Breitbart about Representative John Lewis. It only LOOKS like he was making a statement about the truth value of the statement: "Someone used a derisive, racist term to attack John Lewis." In reality, he was OBVIOUSLY talking about his skin color!!! DUH!! People only PRETEND to not be able to see that, because, RACISM!

It's also OBVIOUS that he only took on Anthony Weiner since Weiner was white!!! WHy? RACISM!!! He was trying to pretend he was actually against big government policy and its representatives. Taking on a PRIVILEGED WHITE GUY seems to lend credibility to that. BUT WE KNOW IT WAS REALLY JUST... .... .... RACISM IN DISGUISE! Dude should have worn a sheet over his head. I even heard from some of my Occupy and Anonymous friends that WEINER WAS IN ON IT!! He sent those images ONLY so that Breitbart could take him on!! And then he wouldn't look quite as RACIST.

Why can't people see that the TEABAGGERZ were only pretending to love Herman Cain, and that they were only pretending to donate to former Congressman Allen West $3,908 per hour towards the end of his campaign!?! (he was actually selling ill-gotten Kuwaiti gold from his time in Iraq, after he had boiling oil ["BLACK gold".. do you think that's a coincidence?!?]) poured down his throat by an Iraqi fan of Michael Jackson... You see, back then, Congressman Allen West was white. But the Iraqi convinced him to turn black, sorta a reverse but successful Michael Jackson! This was AGAIN to provide cover. All REAL TEA BAGGISTS KNEEEW that he was really white!!! So they could lend incredibly vocal support to a FALSE BLACK MAN, ALL WHILE SNICKERING TO THEMSELVES AT cocktail parties following exclusive nazi art shows.

It's also obvious that if members of a movement that insists on legal and peaceful protest get angry over being compared to terrorists, then they are really just showing their TRUE RACIST COLORS. ESPECIALLY IF THEY CURSE!!!!!!1111!!! HOW DARE THEY POUR A SWEAR WORD FROM THEIR ROTTEN WHITE MOUTHS JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE COMPARED THEIR PEACEFUL MOVEMENT TO A MASS MURDERER OF CHILDREN?!! WHAT IDIOTS!!

And we all know that if anyone compares a President to Hitler, THEY ARE REALLY TALKING ABOUT SKIN COLOR. Proof: 

http://www.history.ucsb.edu/faculty/marcuse/classes/33d/projects/media/BushHitlerShitAsshole.jpg

See? DON'T YOU SEE IT?!?! That image was planted by the KOCHSUCKERS in 2005, JUST TO PROVIDE COVER FOR TEA PARTIERS WHO MIGHT DRAW HITLER MUSTACHES on PrESIDENT ObaMA!!!!!

But even before that, plans were in motion to provide cover to the SEEMINGLY "non-racist" (HARHAR) Tea BAGGING IDIOTS .. Going back to the early 20th century, we know that the ancestors of the KOCHSUCKRS and GROVER NORQUISTS GREAT GRANDPA was designing the modern day Tea Party, and creating the conditions to support it. See, when lynchings were common, those folks were just trying to provide cover for all of the microaggressions that would constitute our sad era, where people -- even people who "love" black people or consider themselves "colorblind" -- CONSTANTLY assault others ... you know by: looking at people for too long, making vague or naive statements, making innocent jokes that offend, or similar. Because we all know that racism (like sexual assault!) is in the EYE OF THE BEHOLDER. These things get conjured into existence by the interpretation of the victim! DUMB REDNECKS JUST DON'T SEE IT.

AND DON'T GO GETTING HIGH AND MIGHTY about so-called "objective" reality. To that, I say, check your privilege, you rich, white racist rapists. You have NO IDEA how many women, people of color, transgendered people and atheists you offend every day by being dismissive of their horrific fate at the hands of a society that accidentally but largely DESPISES them by mistake, with no ill intent whatsoever! COLORBLINDNESS IS RACISM. AND RACISM IS RACIST. Because RACISM!

jfparr3
jfparr3

Dead racist assclown is still dead.

chucklingabit
chucklingabit

@GeneSiskelcellanemia Yes, we can all rejoice over the grave of a nonviolent protestor. That's how we can show the VILE TEA BAGGISTS that they are stupid, for being hateful and intolerant. ONLY THRU HATE CNA WE END RACISM.

jack
jack

@CaliCody Missed about as much as having pus drip out of the end of your cock. 

chucklingabit
chucklingabit

@jackdamn straight. you tell them. these fuckers deserve to burn in eternity, because,  RACISM! I just wish I had the courage to post biting criticism like yours, because it adds so much to the conversation! But I'm kinda afraid that people will think I am wasting my time by spouting off hateful content-less stuff at someone is hateful! probably just being a coward right?


chucklingabit
chucklingabit

@jfparr3 Checking again after a few days. Yep. Pointless content-less comment is still pointless.

chucklingabit
chucklingabit

@chuckmorse4 WOW CHUCKMORESE4. You must feel SO bad right now. Did you see what just happened? THOSE GUYS CLEANED THE FLOOR WITH YOU. That one guy called you a teabagger... OIHHHHH SNAP. HAHAHA!! STING.

Then another guy made an AWESOME pun on your name: he said you SHILLS4dick!!! See that?! He REPURPOSED THE FOUR IN YOUR NAME!!!!! OHHHHH DAMN.

AND THEN ANOTHER GUY SAID YOU WERE>>>> A TEA BAGGER. ZING!!! THAT ONE MUST have REALLy HURt.

And the worst thing for you is that you KNOW if they decided to interact with the content you posted in any way, THEY SURE WOULD HAVE CLEANED YOUR CLOCK. You can tell because they are taking all this time to prepare carefully reasoned remarks as to why Acorn really wasn't problematic for America.

(Tho to be honest, merely posting a link to a book is kinda lame, because RACISM.)

CaliCody
CaliCody

@jack I see you are using your highly intellectual liberal education in that reply. I for one can control my sexual urges;  hence I have never had pus come out of my cock. Sounds like you have though since you can compare the two as a personal expression of dismay.

I love this country and so did Breitbart, I may not agree with everything he said or believed, but he was a true Warrior in seeking truth and justice. He published factual evidence based article's which is more then I can say for most other media puppets today.

I served my country for 8 years, what have you done Jack?

Edit:

You post anonymously Jack? Typical liberal COWARD I see.

chucklingabit
chucklingabit

@jack  Wow, keep the intelligent discourse coming Jack! At the end of the night, you can feel confident knowing that you've advanced the discussion in a serious way! Because now people know that you think Breitbart had as much value as an STD! Wow!

And thanks for demonstrating how much you despise the Tea Party, due to the fact that you think their intolerant, by being hateful and intolerant yourself!

BECAUSE DOZ RACIST DESEREV TO HAVE IT thrown in their DUMB TEABAGGIST FACES how OFTEN TheY are MEAN right?

It's also instructive to note that you think schizophrenia and mental illness is laughing matter, and that accusations of mental illness should be used as a personal insults. Classy dude!

jack
jack

@chucklingabit @jack Oh, and aren't you a sly wit! You know what? Fuck you too. My comment sums up all my feelings about Breitbart and the bagger nation he spawned in one simple and concise sentence. I could absolutely go line by line on the exact reasons why you and Breitbart are assholes but since baggers are immune to reason it would be a giant waste of my time and I am beyond trying at this point. I have tried to interact and debate commenters at his website on many occasions but it's a cesspool of ignorance, racism, sexism, and homophobia. So I'll say it again and this time in caps: GOOD RIDDANCE, FUCK FACE! I PRAY YOUR SUPPORTERS BURN IN HELL RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!

chucklingabit
chucklingabit

@jack It's quite shocking to me how often people fail to recognize that I am holding a mirror up to their face. Haha.

BECAUZ RaCISM AND TEA BAGGISTS AMIRITE?

chucklingabit
chucklingabit

@jack Oh, so you've noticed that a screamy babbling style doesn't contribute much to intelligent discourse?

Perhaps you'd be interested in reformulating your original comment such that it contains content that might add to the discussion?

OR WOUDL UR ATHER WRITE IN ALL CAPTS BECAUSE IT SHOWS HOW ERSEIOUS YOU arE WheN YOU TELL PEOPlE to fFUCK OFF AND BURN in HELl

Fucking goof.

jack
jack

@chucklingabit @jack Is that you Jared Lee Loughner? I would have thought you were getting thorazine to treat your schizophrenia. Seriously, dude, your babbling incoherence makes it near impossible to respond to you. 

chucklingabit
chucklingabit

@jack @chucklingabit @jack @chucklingabit OH DAMN. YOu diD it again! You showed that you are above all the hate and intolerance by ONLY PRETENDING to be hateful and intolerant! OHHH! I get it now. Instead of pretending to be intolerant, the TEA BAGGIST RACISTS pretend to hate government overreach. IF ONLY THE DUMB TEABAGGERS HAD SUCH WISDOM we could get them to pretend to be hateful and intolerant, and then they wouldn't be ACTUALLY INTOLERANT and HATEFUL anymore. I don't know why you misinterpreted my statement as an attack. I remain in awe of your intellect, compassion and self-control. WE WILL defeat hatred, bigotry and, most importantly, RACISM by pretending to be hateful and intolerant! Yay!

 

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