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Skip the Script and Double-Down on the Beefcakery with The Legend of Hercules

Skip the Script and Double-Down on the Beefcakery with <I>The Legend of Hercules</I>

January! Just the time to snuggle up with a 3D sword-and-pectoral extravaganza. And although some of its more imaginative plot details would make Edith Hamilton blanch, Renny Harlin's Legend of Hercules fulfills every silly, flimsy promise that it makes in the first place: There are lots of battles (albeit rather jerkily rendered ones), some grand-looking horses decked out in handsome metal headdresses, and lots of well-oiled beefcake.

You could ask for more — an actual script, maybe? — but Harlin covers most of the basics. Or, perhaps more accurately, he leaves them uncovered.

Brawny Hercules (Kellan Lutz, Emmett Cullen of the Twilight Saga), son of the comely Queen Alcmene (Roxanne McKee), is sent off to battle by the resentful man who is not his real father, King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins).

Details

The Legend of Hercules
Directed by Renny Harlin
Lionsgate Films
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Because the god Zeus, as we know, is Hercules's real daddy, which is even better than having Frank Sinatra's DNA in your gene pool. There's also a jealous half-brother, Iphicles (Liam Garrigan), and a radiant, willowy love interest, Hebe (Gaia Weiss).

Every actor muddles along valiantly with the movie's stiff dialogue, and most of them — especially Australian Liam McIntyre, who plays Hercules's buddy Sotiris with an almost Shakespearean nobility — get by. In fact, of all of them, Lutz has the smallest measure of screen presence: He looks like a frat boy headed to a post-graduation job at Brown Brothers Harriman, and his voice is less a mighty roar than a throaty croak. In the pectoral department, however, he does not disappoint. And if that's not at least part of what brings you to The Legend of Hercules, well, you're at the wrong movie.

 
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15 comments
DistrictNine
DistrictNine

Why are so many NYC writers lauding this film? Because it is a subversive gay trope, sort of like GQ?

sambafreak13
sambafreak13

I like that on Rotten Tomatoes hers is the only positive review (out of 45), and it's because the lead is buff and takes off his shirt.  On the flip side, she did give "12 Years a Slave" and "Her" negative reviews, so she's nothing if not a Maverick!

ljace79
ljace79

I know not to trust this site for legitimate reviews.

DerekDeskins
DerekDeskins

@dtuck318 and it's only really positive because she was distracted by a good looking guy. Feminism what?

George
George

Oh god, you shoud´ve been more careful, now you´ve lost all credibility...

Bellicose
Bellicose

What a load of crap! Who ever got paid to make this crap; didn't get paid nearly enough to sell their soul like this. I also saw a screening of this "film" and it's got to be one of the worst things I've seen in a long, long time. I love Greek mythology and this is so far off track, you can't even use the term Tomato - Toma(toe). More like Tomato - Giraffe. If you liked this garbage you have a palette that wouldn't even be able to tell you you're eating vomit and not soup.

palmtree554
palmtree554

sooo basically what you're saying is "go see this movie so you can see hot people fumble through a movie yet still be hot"? yeah, there's a little something called the internet where i can look at hot people and i don't even need to spend 10 bucks to watch them be hot.

davidbertucci
davidbertucci

Go back to college and learn to write a proper review.

eu0014
eu0014

This review makes no sense at all.

ewoo32
ewoo32

How much did they pay you to write this review?

 

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