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Kids Incorporated

Disney superstars and their accessible tales of growl power keep the record biz afloat

While there's no apparent real-life Joe Simpson in the Cheetah Girls' real-life entourage, their act isn't completely devoid of conflict. Raven (née Symone) is the only member with her own TV show and, amid rumors of unrest, has excused herself from the groups' live performances, including their current tour. So much for solidarity. And diversity? From the look of their press photos, they've achieved the same racially ambiguous, honey-colored glow that Mariah Carey's been rocking for years.

But none of that matters as long as they keep playing the role of celebrities who don't get to sign autographs until their homework is done. Because the only thing more glamorous than a pop star is a pop star who has a math test to worry about, and high school is a magical place for those not yet old enough to attend.

Some chaste, wholesome fun with Galleria, Chanel, Dorinda, and Aqua
Bob D'Amico/Disney
Some chaste, wholesome fun with Galleria, Chanel, Dorinda, and Aqua

The Cheetah Girls play Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum Thursday night; "High School Musical: The Concert" takes over the Uniondale venue Friday, December 29, and Sunday, December 31, nassaucoliseum.com.

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