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12/31/2011 2:54:00 PM
*deep breath* sigh... i really hope you didn't go to college..
here goes.. where to begin...
In my opinion, "One Child" is the best "modern" Christmas song since "All I Want For Christmas is You" . From a beautifully-soothing melismatic intro, to her signature power-house vocals, One Child has it all..
"a needless retelling of the night of Christ's birth with nothing new to add"
Im assuming ?????'s statement is a rhetorical one.. Jesus was only "born" once (and only faith "proves" that). You can only tell a story so many different ways, yet, even after ALL the different ways people have already covered the birth of Christ, (not to mention songs she wrote/recorded for her previous Christmas album), she still found a new way to represent it, and to say what was created was any less than "great" is an insult. People always seem to forget the fact that she writes ALL of her material, aside from the covers/duets - and even if she didnt write those, she still "made them her own" ie Endless Love (perhaps that why this "article" was written, the "critic" is envious of Mariahs literary sense...) Id like to see jlo, rihanna, or even madonna (and DEFINATELY the writer of this ignorant "review"), write a Christmas song even half as good as "One Child", ( let alone record one.)
Not to mention her "all time, Christmas classic" "All I Want for Christmas is you" released November 1, 1994, is now a song with more renown than ANY national anthem.. Not bad for something that is less than 20 years old!
Again, *****not to mention*****, (seems thats all these "Critics" ever do),
Mariah Carey currently holds records for;
Best selling Christmas album of all time,
Best selling Christmas song of all time,
Best selling female artist of all time,
Longest chart topper
More songs than any other artist to chart
Most consecutive number ones/albums
More number ones than any other female/solo artist
has the record for the most World Music Award
AND
Millennium awards were presented in 2000 for the very first time to the world's best-selling recording-artist of all time. The awards were presented to Michael Jackson AND Mariah Carey in the male and female artist award categories. (Thats not even a full 10 years into her career, while Michael Jackson had already been established since the 70's)
Just to name a few of her accomplishments...
BTW - Did I forget mention Mariah Carey is 2nd only to the the Beatles? They currently hold the record for the most number ones in history, and they were a group! She does it on her own! She already topped Elvis, and Elvis and the Beatles gained much of their popularity AFTER death.. She only needs what, two or three more number ones to be at the top of the top. Shes only 40, but most of the previously mentioned was accomplished BEFORE she even turned 30)
and what about charity/ humanitarian work, over the years shes donated countless hours/funds to many organizations around the world. "Camp Mariah" is named after Board member Mariah Carey for her generous support and dedication to Fresh Air children - taken from the "Fresh air fund" website - shes been sponsoring them since 93.
Even if she had absolutely no voice, she would STILL have more talent than anyone on the market today.. Sadly, true genius usually goes unrecognized until after death.. Then suddenly everyone misses the treasure that once was.. The thing with Mariah Carey is people never seem to focus on "the artist". Rather, their options are all based on "the person" they dislike for whatever reason. Shes only human.. Shes not perfect, no one is. She has been working working working working working and working since she was 16.. enduring overly harsh criticism nearly the entire time (and that's just career wise, what about her personal issues? I.E. family/friends/love/loss ..) Give her a break already, she is a person just like you (well maybe not "just" like, you seem to be somewhat of an @ hole). So what, since she has more #1s than any other living artist, all that glitters must be gold? Instead of bashing the artist with a career that trumps yours ten billion to 1 (0.00000001 for that matter), re-evaluate your own life and you just might realize why your so angry, then maybe you will no longer feel the need to write such a hateful article..
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07/08/2011 12:17:00 AM
lol I am a huge Mariah fan but I must say I found your review amusing. It is full of personal attacks at what you think of Mariah but has little to do with the actual material. It also appears that you don't really care for Christmas, Christmas after all is all about nostalgia whether you like it or not. If there was no nostalgia, there would be no Christmas. What was most entertaining about your review is that its full of analogies, you didn't write one paragraph without making an analogy. It is as if you just finished your first English 101 assignment on how to form an analogous statement.
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Monarc 04/03/2011 4:21:00 PM
This is bulsh*t!!! Rich Juzwiak is the horrible writer.
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Albi_de 12/16/2010 6:15:00 AM
Horrible review, you should focus more on the album review and not how mariah is as a person or who is going to buy her album, that is fans problem. This review is absolutely ridiculous.
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Jordan 12/03/2010 5:48:00 AM
This is a great review. It really highlights what is good and bad about modern day Mariah. To these raging fans, it is obvious this reviewer has some affections for the singer. Truthfully, Mariah IS this bizarre combination of mainstream pandering and "OMG, no she didn't!" artistic choices that no other current pop diva would try, but that somehow work for her at least as often as not. That is what makes her Mariah, and I think that is exactly what the reviewer is recognizing here. It seems he is just saying this time out she misses a little more than she hits. I am sure there are other reviewers who (wrongly) dismiss this album altogether, so why don't you raging fans go trash them, and be happy this reviewer at least somewhat understands why you love Carey so much!
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Daniel Nevarez 11/17/2010 10:35:00 AM
You're an idiot. Just because you may not like the music or the artist, doesn't mean it has to block your thinking. Critics are supposed to have a 3rd party objective not your own biased feelings.
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derek 11/15/2010 11:08:00 PM
your Fucking retarded!! Her voice sound much. Better than her past two albums by far .
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Ben 11/15/2010 11:17:00 AM
The negative comments on this multi-dimensional and thoughtful review (of something that doesn't necessarily even deserve this level of effort, in my opinion) are hilarious. I love when crazed fans of any music artist deflect people they've identified as "haters" with incomprehensible and unrelated points. Did you even READ the article? There are certainly other writers out there who have written more concise, blunt, and negative reviews of this, save your ire for the bloggers out there who can't think of anything better to say than, "Mariah's n3w aLbUm SUXxX!"
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BM 11/14/2010 3:18:00 AM
Mariah is not the Queen!
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Lambchop 11/13/2010 9:35:00 PM
A pretty fair review in my opinion even though I don't agree whole-heartedly with a lot of the sentiments. As bat-shit crazy as Mimi can be though, she knows her craft (perhaps a little too well) and definitely has got pandering down to an art.In other news, her voice has never sounded better this millennium.
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oedipa 11/12/2010 4:18:00 AM
Shaiman also did the "South Park" movie and several of its episodes, not to mention some of the better Broadway scores of recent years. And there are some who don't rate Sirk solely for his "hilarity." Do some research next time, twerp.
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Robert 11/11/2010 8:27:00 PM
This has to be the funniest Christmas album I've listened to since the South Park one. It's just so over the top and, dare I say, desperate.
Rich is a Mariah Carey fan. He's also a pretty objective critic and isn't afraid to call someone out for being utterly ridiculous on a project like this. It's ok if your hero falls short once in a while and is told so. She doesn't need you to race around the world defending every negative comment made about her. It reflects poorly on her and her fans.
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Pedro 11/11/2010 7:43:00 AM
lol, Mariah stans are so creepy. Good review, Rich!
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Fifi 11/11/2010 3:43:00 AM
Mariah is the Queen and this album is nothing short of worthy of Baby Jesus.
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jeffreychrist 11/11/2010 1:11:00 AM
Gotta love the Mariah fanatics who bombard even every half-negative review of any bile she spits out.
But truth is truth. Carey's 1st Christmas CD is a classic - the only listenable CD in her whole catalog. MERRY CHRISTMAS II YOU is one of the absolute worst holiday albums I've ever heard - a shrill, tuneless cacophony permeated with porn-star moans, histrionic melisma and a
disrespect for actual melody. Literally painful to listen to.
Suck it, Juzwiak haters.
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CLo from FOMM 11/11/2010 12:21:00 AM
Bitch, please. This CD is great and so is Mariah. Stop trying to read such negativity into her every move and note!
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casimir 11/11/2010 12:11:00 AM
SD expresses my sentiments exactly. All I could think of was "WTF is Juziak talking about?"
'Agreeably Bizarre' What? Who's self-obsessed? And who is 'catering to his ego'?? The author. Get over yourself.
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Adrianne 11/11/2010 12:05:00 AM
I love you, Rich, I really really really love you.
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NJay Maldito 11/10/2010 9:59:00 PM
Mariah is so trying hard in this. Oh Santa is rubbish!
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Karlo 11/10/2010 9:34:00 PM
Did you really even hear the album? Are you some crazy Mariah Carey hater of some sort? This album in unbelievably good and you are way out of the mainstream by thinking otherwise. Maybe that's your point: "look how different I am". Merry Christmas II You is a wondrous musical gem for now and generations to come. I have listened to it several times and I am blown away by its prowess. It really captivates the holiday spirit. Rich, you suck!
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Badal 11/10/2010 7:47:00 PM
hahaha you suck at writing...oh and by the way, this album is like...really good. and it got amazing reviews by people who actually matter
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Lynn 11/10/2010 1:51:00 PM
This is one of hte best christmas cd's I have. It is almost right up there with her first Christmas cd. My favorite songs are "Oh Santa, Here Comes Santa Clause, The First Noel, All I Want For Christmas and maybe the best song on the cd might be Auld Lang Syne which is the last song on the cd. That song is definately going to be one of those songs that is played at the New Years party. She uses her breathy voice alittle more than I like. I prefer the belting voice, but this cd will be one that will be on repeat play every Christmas
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SD 11/10/2010 8:34:00 AM
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read! You talk about self-obsession in a nutshell, your whole review was a clusterfuck of comparisons and colorful words that I'm sure you thought, "The more shit I cram into this review the more intelligent I'll sound." Sorry, a stocking full of coal for you...and I hope Mariah's pregnant ass delivers it!
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marc cruz 11/10/2010 7:43:00 AM
rich i am ashamed of you. didnt you use to LOVE THIS WOMAN?
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marc 11/10/2010 7:04:00 AM
Wow, my work is called schmaltzy and shlocky yet sweeping and exquisite all in one review! I don't know whether to kick you or kiss you. If we ever cross paths, perhaps I'll do both.
-Marc Shaiman
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Anonymous 11/10/2010 5:34:00 AM
I'd like to see YOU write 5 Christmas songs and do a whole Christmas album.
Then we'll see how much you actually do know about Christmas music.