Happy in the Poorhouse GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS

IF YOUSE WANT A REAL SENSE OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SIT THROUGH THE AMORALISTS' HAPPY IN THE POORHOUSE, IMAGINE THAT I AM UP IN YOUR FACE, SHRIEKING THIS REVIEW AT THE TOP OF MY FRICKIN' LUNGS IN A BROOKLYN ACCENT! THIS PLAY IS LIKE SOME CHIT'LIN CIRCUIT CRAP, ONLY WITH ITALIAN-AMERICANS—LIKE, THE FRICKIN' PARMIGIANA PLAYERS! AND LIKE PARMIGIANA, PLAYWRIGHT DEREK AHONEN HAS COVERED THIS BABY IN A THICK LAYER OF CHEESE! OH BOY! IT'S ABOUT THIS BOXER GUY NAMED PAULIE, WHO CAN'T SCREW HIS WIFE MARY! HE MARRIED HER EIGHT MONTHS AGO WHEN HER BOYFRIEND WENT TO FIGHT IN IRAQ! THE BOYFRIEND WAS PAULIE'S BEST FRIEND PETIE! OH MY FRICKIN' GAWD! PETIE'S COMING BACK FROM IRAQ THAT NIGHT AND THEY'RE HAVING A PARTY FOR HIM! PAULIE'S SISTER PENNY IS COMING BACK TOO! AND EVERYBODY'S BROKE AND NEEDS TO ASK EACH OTHER FOR MONEY! WHAT A MESS! AND MARY'S BROTHER, JOEY? HE'S A MALE-CHAUVINIST POSTMAN WHO SCREWS EVERY BROAD ON HIS ROUTE! JOEY'S IN LOVE WITH PENNY, BUT PENNY'S A DYKE! PETIE WANTS MARY BACK AND HE AND PAULIE HAVE A BIG RIDICULOUS FIGHT! PETIE PULLS OUT A STAPLE GUN AND FIRES IT INTO PAULIE'S SCALP! AAH-HAHAHASNORT!